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New Vitamin Cigarettes Will Add Years To Your Life!

 
SPODSBJERG, Denmark -- A Danish horticulturalist turned cigarette manufacturer has become the toast of European tobacco users by creating the ultimate safe smoke -- a healthy cigarette loaded with essential vitamins and nutrients!b

One full pack of "Vigor" cigarettes smoked within a 24-hour time frame will provide 100 percent of a person's daily requirement of vitamins A, B, C, D and E, according to the celebrated inventor.

"It is with much pride and joy that I announce the arrival of the world's first 'health cigarette,'" says Dr. Dagmar Tekla, CEO of Tekla Tobacco Inc. who also chairs the esteemed Spodsbjerg Horticultural Society.

"For the first time in history, smokers who switch to the Vigor brand will outlive conventional cigarette smokers and non-smokers by several decades." Dr. Tekla's miraculous creation came about when he began soaking tobacco seeds in a liquefied vitamin compound for several weeks before planting them; hoping for a larger, more robust crop. The result was a hybrid strain rich in vitamins and minerals previously unknown to conventional tobaccos.

"When the first cigarettes rolled off the line, our test smokers swore that after a few puffs, they began to feel energized and refreshed. We sent a sample to our on-site laboratory and sure enough, it was loaded with every good thing that one could ever hope to put into their body."

To further bolster Vigor's claim that it has smokers' best interests in mind, the cigarettes are manufactured nicotine-free.

"People should smoke Vigor because they want to, not because they have to," says Dr. Tekla. "For this reason, the highly addictive nicotine has been removed from the Vigor brand."

Lyle Bennett, a Brisbane, Australia boat builder whose rectal cancer was miraculously cured by cigarette smoking -- as reported in the August 20, 2002 edition of Weekly World News --has permanently switched to Vigor, and encourages others to do the same.

"When I smoke Vigor, I know that my body is receiving 100 percent of the essential vitamins and minerals I need to live a long, healthy life," beams Bennett.

"Vigor will ensure my longevity. What more could a smoker ask for?" Vigor cigarettes are available in regular, menthol and lights, and are currently being test-marketed in Europe and Australia on a limited basis.

FDA approval of "Vigor" is expected in 2005.

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